Now that you've got your master guest list assembled, having pulled the lists of your significant other, their parents, and your parents together, you've probably realized that you need to do some (or a lot) of editing.
This is where the importance of designating every guest with an A, B, C priority comes in handy. However, it's still up to you to determine where to start, and this can obviously cause some friction amongst your family. Especially depending on how many people are paying for your nuptials.
The most equitable thing to do is to split the number that you need to cut (say, 40 guests), evenly among all guest list contributors. In this case, you can start by identifying 10 guests from each list (hopefully all C priority, but maybe some B too) that won't be making the cut. Obviously, this is the simplest approach.
However, if you're not paying for your wedding and your parents are, they may want to exert some greater influence over who comes to the wedding. It's unfortunate that it might come down to a familiar squabble like this, but it happens. (Weddings, as I'm sure you're realizing, are fraught with emotion!) If this is the case, it's very possible you will have to ceed more of your guest list than they do... but not necessarily.
As with all things in life, calmly expressing why your guests deserve to stay on the list as much as theirs do can work. After all, this day is about you and your betrothed. Yes, it's about family too, but it's important that the people you care about the most are able to attend, if they can.
When it comes to the guest list, it's better to be more conservative. Underestimate how many people will respond in the affirmative that they are attending can be devastating, resulting in either exceeding your budget, or, worse, having to uninvite people (to be avoided at all costs!)
The other benefit is that if you are conservative about it, and have a number of people regretfully decline, you can always go back to those previously "cut" guests and send out their invitation quickly. Hopefully, they won't notice the delay... after all, the USPS does leave something to be desired. Keep track of your respondents as they come in, and you'll start getting a good picture of where you stand, attendance-wise, pretty quickly.
If a guest has not responded and it has past the date you indicated you would like responses by, by all means, reach out to them. Yes - it's more work on your part, but it's important that you get a final number as soon as possible. You'll need this to provide to your venue, caterer, etc. a few weeks out from the big day.
Previously:
The Guest List - Part One
The Guest List - Part Two
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